How can I liberate my chest from this rock, this blockage( suppress emotion / apathy)

Question

8 years ago, somebody beat me on a train. One year after, a lot of somatic trouble happened to me ( urticaria,panic attack, breathing trouble, ulcer)

These symptoms evolved. But now I have apathy, like an emotional blockage, and it's hard for me to practice vipassana, to dissect this blockage, because it's so huge and uncomfortable. It's certainly a Ptsd. The Only times it leaves and I feel alive again, it's when I speak with new people from different horizons, really different than me.So I don't know if my brain needs new stimulation, but this are the only clues that I have.

It's like I'm dead inside, apathy, no passion,joy, I'm like a robot, I do everything because of habits, not because I feel the joy of being Alive.

I'm French ,so sorry for the mistakes.

 Please give me steps or even solutions, I will Be grateful for that.

Answer 1

Vipassana meditation does not require you to feel emotional. As long as you are capable of following instructions and carrying out a task(just like a robot), you should be able to meditate just fine.
Satipatthana technique would be  a good fit for you. Read venerable Yuttadhammo's booklet to get a start. You can sign up for the online meditation course to get further instructions.