+1 vote
by (160 points)
Recently, I've been meditating more and more, but I'm afraid it has had some negative repercussions come with it. I'm not so sure if I'm holding onto to the pleasures that arise from meditation and therefore seeking them during the practice, or if I'm constantly second guessing myself and judging. During the meditation practice, I am fine. However it is afterwards that causes distress and anxiety. I try to note the feeling and acknowledge it as just a thought or let it go, but it seems to do the opposite affect. I've also found myself being very critical on my own ego, sometimes finding the ego to be big, even if it may not be. Perhaps suffering?

1 Answer

+1 vote
by (7.3k points)
This is completely normal and part of the practice. It's something you have to experience and see clearly. If you give up now, every time you come back to the practice you will have to go through this stage again.

Your mind is creating this anxiety and because your mindfulness is growing stronger you are able to see it more clearly. It seems overwhelming but in reality it's just a number of experiences arising and passing away very quickly. Before practicing, we did things to suppress or cover up these feelings (like giving in to sense pleasure) now we are facing it head on and the mind is resisting because of its old habit pattern of suppressing and ignoring these feelings.
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