Buddhism is about understanding, rather than controlling. So rather than being concerned about whether or not you should allow someone something, it is more useful to develop understanding about the situation, so that you can share that understanding with them.
The Buddha said,
na paresaṃ vilomāni, na paresaṃ katākataṃ.
attanova avekkheyya, katāni akatāni ca.
Not the faults of others, nor the acts and omissions of others.
Rather one's own acts and omissions should one oversee.
-- Dhp. 50
When you purify your own mind, you will always do and say the right thing to help others. That's better than trying to control them.